Eulogy read by Julian Roberts
St.Botolph's Church, Worthing, March 17th 2006


"On the last occasion that I saw my mum, 3 days before she died,
She whispered in my ear:
“Where do we come from?”
So I told her that she came from a long line of descendents stretching back to the beginning of time: of ‘Paull’s’, ‘Chard’s’ and ‘Pitcher’s’.
She then said that she didn’t remember all the names, but I told her that didn’t matter because everyone of importance remembers you,
and I then gave her some of my own memories to keep:

I told her that before she came to be in this bed, in the lounge of the Rectory at
4 Lansdowne Road in Worthing, West Sussex,
That she had always been a very active and happy person,
Doing yoga, keepfit & swimming,
Cooking & preparing food,
Long red brown hair, with soft Oil of Olay hands,
A collector of Tupperware, sunny days on picnics, warm orange squash
picking me up, putting me down
so many cuddles shared
Me looking up at you, you always looking down at me smiling
Holding my hand in church
Tickling my hand to keep me still
Hi Jooles. She always called me Jules. Hi Tim.
Taking us shopping, school uniforms & pencil cases,
Early September dress rehearsals, nights drawing in, don’t want to go.
Chopping vegetables in front of the television,
Radio on in the kitchen, dad not yet home from church,
Alistair Cook’s ‘Letter from America’, ‘Desert Island Discs’
Sunshine & Roast Chicken
Carrots & Parsnips
Sunbathing in the garden
Coconut Ambre Solaire.
Singing. Always humming, whistling, singing songs.
Always the last person to open your presents on Christmas Day,
As if you wanted to make it last a little bit longer than everyone else.
Sherry & Pate, Hostess Trolleys, Hungarian Goulash, writing recipes, flipping pancakes,
Laughter, giggles & tears in front of the TV,
Oh no she isn’t, Oh yes she is… He’s behind you! The lounge was always a pantomime.
Paisley optical brights, kaftans, mini dresses & tights,
Plastic pendants, lists & elastic bands, plaited ponytails,
drying your hair in front of the fire.
Blue grey eyes, holding hands at the diner table,
Special K for breakfast,
Doing your exercises to music with Sandy the dog rolling next to you,
Fold&Fling and Fold&Fling, Boxing with Queensbury Rules,
Hugs & kisses all round.
Always so supportive, Go for it we’re behind you all the way,
Don’t worry what we think, You never know unless you try it,
We’re always here for you, you can always come to stay, It’ll be lovely to see you,
Stay an extra night if you like, there’s no rush, have a lie in.
Trays of cheese & tomato toasties & KitKats mysteriously left outside my bedroom door,
Nighty night I’ve put a hot water bottle in your bed,
Bacon & lentil casserole on the Devon Moors,
Home made wine & yoghurt,
Taking Sandy & Smokey for walks, chatting away to them all the way round the block,
Woolly hat & ski jacket, Sitting in the garden, listening to the birds,
Did you hear the seagulls this morning?

On that last visit, when i’d finally run out of things to say,  my mum smiled sweetly:
“I’ve had the most beautiful sleep” she whispered,  “It was SO beautiful.”

All the fragments, memories and souvenirs of who & what mum was,
and where it is she came from, continues to live and grow in the collective imaginations of everyone who had the good fortune to know her...
Each different,   Each personal,   Each so very real and living.
There is no subtraction or taking away.

Now my mum is free from suffering and harm, and we should each seek out the comfort of our own personal memories, and celebrate the achievement of a happy life completed.

My mum wasn’t scared of dying: I asked her several times and she always smiled & said no.
She asked that we remember her in this service “JOYFULLY” – which she underlined in uppercase: no black, no mourning, no tears.
She also specifically asked that the hymns & music “be played at good speed please!”
So dry your eyes, be strong & smile for Jennie.

The Organist and Choir may wish to take this as a cue, & start limbering up…"